So, as I sit here over lunch break, I am finding the three part blog a difficult idea. I can't really come up with one, but I guess I'll try.

 

numero uno: 

 

I am going to Connecticut and Tennessee! (with my fingers crossed)

 

Right now the plans are under way that I go visit my aunts and uncles both in Nashville and New Haven. I am super psyched! I know that I will have the money. My mom already said I can go. I really, truly want this.

 

But I'm hesitating.

 

"Why is that, Meg?" you ask.

Well shut up and I'll tell you! Just kidding.

 

I guess the thing that bothers me is whenever I am happy or get to do something that makes me happy, my sister seems to unhappy, with me specifically. This summer has been really difficult having her back home. Sharing a room is hard sometimes, but generally it works out ok. It is the rest of my life with her that has been making me angry. I feel like she looks down on me for being irresponsible. She is so concerned with judging other people sometimes that she refuses to look at her relationships. Just the other day she was telling me about her friend and her dating issues and she was practically patronizing this woman for her choices. It just aggravates me.

 

She expects so much from me, and I already expect a lot from myself. I have never felt pressure from my parents or my other two siblings, but she makes me feel inadequate a lot of the time. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my sister. I wouldn’t even say I'm actually angry with her. I'm just disappointed that I can't make her happy, and that she can't share in my happiness. I can't even joke with her any more because she just flies up in my face. But if I sound the least bit annoyed when I say something she yells at me for my "tone of voice".

 

AGH! Ok, so now my random yelling can end. Please do not post millions of remedies for my family issues. This is just my safe place for venting. I can't even fill in all the details to make this all make sense I just need to let off a bit for myself.

 

So, number two:

 

Men. Wait let me rephrase: boys. I am tired of the shit being thrown around by some of the guys around here. They treat girls like shit, they treat each other like shit, they treat themselves like shit. I, in turn, look at them like piles of shit because that is how they often behave.

So ends my random misandry rant.

 

And now ladies and gentlemen, door number three:

 

Since numbers one and two were not much fun, let's move on to a joyous discussion. Meg needs to start studying for her SAT and SAT II's. So much joy in the air I am suffocating, oh wait, I am actually just hyperventilating because I am worried. It isn't like I am not going to get into college somewhere, it is just that I rarely have major ambitions, and college is one thing I care about. I want a new experience. I want to take a leap and go out there. I am so excited. I can't wait for my senior year because this is the year where I start putting all the puzzle pieces in place and completing my picture. (Also adding to the joy, our history teacher is leaving, which just makes school seem a little more happy)

 

Ok so this blog has been very poorly written and full of useless information. I assure you though, that my brain is feeling vast amounts of relief now from this dump of crap on to the internet blog scene.

 

*silence* ! and then a strange noise from the closet behind me!